Wednesday 16 April 2014

Another Internet Dating Story....

Hi everyone,

Sorry it's been a few days since I posted, life has got in the way a bit but I'm back and I bring humour!

My last post on the joys of internet dating went well (you can meet Dave here) so I thought I would share another story.

So, it's a random weekday evening and I've got one eye on the TV and one eye on the laptop. There's a ping from the laptop, somebody wants to be part of my contacts.

A quick aside, on this particular website, people request to be part of your contacts and if you say yes they are then able to IM you.

So a quick look at the profile, age - fine, height - fine (I like tall men), photo - fine, location - bit far away for my liking but again I remember being told off for being too picky. So I click yes and he becomes part of my contacts.

We shall call him..............Dave 2.

So straight away the hi how are you conversation starts and then of course my favourite questions.....

What are you looking for?

Cue Marge Simpson growl.

However, on this occasion I don't get a to answer because it's all about Dave 2.

Dave 2 goes on to tell me that he's not looking for a girlfriend and he's not looking for a date. He looking for an audience.

Huh???

Oh Dave 2, please explain.

So he does.

Dave 2 like to pleasure himself and Dave 2 likes an audience while he's doing it. Apparently the number of people of watching is not really a concern, it could be 1 or it could be 10 but he really likes to be watched.

Would you like to watch?

Well Dave 2, we only started chatting 10 minutes ago.

You wouldn't be the first.

Well THAT'S a relief!!

And you wouldn't have to be naked.

OK......

I just want you to watch, not touch.

Dave 2, I'm not sure you're doing much for my ego here.

I could pay you. I've paid for an audience before.

And that's my ego completely trampled.

So let me gets this straight, you've singled me out on this dating website (note the word dating and not fetish) because I look like the girl who likes to sit there and watch you wank.

So is that a no then?

Not so much a no, more of a piss off and bother someone else.

Do you think any of your mates would be up for it?

Ha ha ha ha ha! No Dave 2, I am not pimping you out to my mates!

Needless to say, Dave 2 was another one that did not make it to the date stage but I suppose he was good enough to provide me with a good story!

Thanks for reading
Lard
x


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