Earworms

From Wikipedia:

"An earworm, sometimes known as a brainworm, is a catchy piece of music that continually repeats through a person's mind after it is no longer playing."

I get earworms a lot. I think part of the reason is because certain parts of my job can be a bit repetitive so my mind goes for a wander.

The songs the stick in my head are:

Yes that is Paul McCartney and the Frog Chorus. 

Another repeat offender is this:

I was never a massive fan when I was a kid so I've no idea why this keeps coming back to haunt me. My earworms take many forms but these two are the ones that come back time after time.

Until a couple of weeks ago when my lovely work colleague reminded me of this:

Tots fricking TV. 

Periodically for the last two weeks as soon as my mind wanders the music starts and before I know it...."I'm a tot, Je suis une tot, Tilly, Tom and Tiny..."

IT'S DRIVING ME DEMENTED!!

And now it'll be in your head too, sorry about that.

Do you have any earworms you'd like to share? Comment below or find me on the twitters @rantingsoflard

Thanks for reading

Lard

x

The Delivery Man Cometh

Waiting.....

Still waiting.....

Waiting for the delivery man.

He's not delivering anything particularly exciting but I've missed him three times already this week. Today I've got a day off so I specifically asked for delivery today.

"Yes that's fine, delivery will be anytime up to 9 pm"

Brilliant.

It's like being held hostage in your own house. So I've tried to be productive. So far, not massively productive.

I've had breakfast. I've made some brownies (How's the diet going? Yeah really well thanks). I've made a mad dash to the shop to get some cigarettes (How's the non-smoking going? Yeah about as well as the diet thanks). I've had lunch. I've been on the Wii Fit for half an hour (trying to counteract the brownies). I've also watched an unhealthy amount of TV.

I'm still waiting.

I don't have the patience for this.

I'd quite like to have a nice long bath but you know full well that the doorbell will go the minute in submerged.

Fricking deliveries, tell me I'm not the only one who has this little patience!

Thanks for reading
Lard
x

Parking Wars

Surprisingly enough I'm not a massive fan of confrontation. I love a good rant (obviously) and my job involves an element of confrontation but it's not something I enjoy, however, sometimes a prefect match of circumstances make it inevitable.

Picture the scene:
It's 8 pm on a Monday night, I've just driven home after a long day at the office and I've popped into the local supermarket to get some dinner. I'm tired, it's pissing it down with rain and I've got killer PMT.

As a side note, I'm often annoyed by inconsiderate drivers and shite parking at the local supermarket.

So I'm in and out in less than 10 minutes, I've got my dinner and I'm going home a good 12 hours after I left that morning.

I see her straight away.

I see the look on her face and sense the laziness in her soul.

When I first arrived, I got a parking space close to the door and I knew that she wanted it.

I wasn't wrong.

She watched me go to my car and sat and waited. By doing this she's blocking the way completely, she's blocking people in their spaces and stopping anyone behind her getting through.

As well as being a bit ranty, ladies and gents, I'm stubborn too.

I get in my car, get my phone out, check my messages, have quick look on the book of faces and the twitters. I'm going nowhere until she gives in first. At this point I notice the bloke beside me. He's playing the same game but he's got his engine on.

He's hardcore.

So we sit and we wait.

5 minutes pass.

Dear readers, you may think at this point that we're just being childish (we were) and one of us should have just moved. That's because I've neglected to tell you an important point.

Opposite me, a mere 30 second drive away is a big fat empty parking space. In terms of walking to the supermarket door it would add less than 5 seconds to her walk.

So we wait.

Another 3 or 4 minutes pass.

One of the people she's blocking in wants to get out. So she moves over behind me to let them out along with the two cars that were waiting behing her and then in her haste to get into the newly vacated space nearly hits my car.

I love my car and this does not please me.

And then she parks, gets out of her car looks back in my direction and sticks her fingers up.

The perfect storm: I'm tired, it's been a long day, I've got PMT and she's inconsiderate, rude and nearly hit my car.

Before I know it, I get out of the car. I stand up and glare at her. She looks back and says:

"That wasn't meant for you"

My mouth engages before my brain and I shout back at her:

"Well alternatively instead of holding everyone up, what you could have done was park in that space there"

"What the fuck has it got to do with you? I'll park where I fucking well like"

Brain engages and my immediate thought was: woah!  I want expecting quite that level of aggression! My next thought was: rule number one of confrontation: Don't argue with idiots.

And she was definitely an idiot. So I bid her fairwell (I may have done this with the words "Oh fuck off") got back in the car and left the car park.

Then man in the car next me? He smiled at me and gave me the thumbs up.

Thanks for reading
Lard
x